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Reluctantly Gay Ghosts And Werewolfs

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This short novel (which runs all of 11 pages, most of which can be read in the “Look Inside” link) is pretty clearly explained in its title. But you can’t beat the description, which contains the text “WARNING: … a horny gay poltergeist.”

If that doesn’t get you supernaturalled out, try “How To Turn A Wolf Gay,” by the same author. Or if you think a werewolf willingly being turned gay is too unbelievable, then you could get “Made To Submit (Reluctant Gay Werewolf BDSM).”

Then again, you might be thinking “that’s not specific enough of an adult novel, because everything I read these days has a straight BDSM werewolf who is reluctant to turn gay.” Who’d blame you? That’s probably why there’s “Reluctant Gay Werewolf Catshifter BDSM”, for those who prefer catshifter in their reluctant gay werewolf stories.



Gaming Mug

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This is apparently some kind of racist gamer mug, according to the title, but I can’t see the logo because they turned it away from the camera. That’s some good marketing.



Gift Cards

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If you fuck up Christmas and you have to get someone a gift card, so be it. Just don’t try to fool them with this gift card that comes in its own pretty little box.

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You get this thing and you’re like “oh cool, probably a ring” or “wow probably a small and really sharp knife.” NO. Fifty bucks. But at least it’s not as depressing as this:

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You marry someone and you live with them for 25 fucking years, the same house, the same room, and then you commemorate the event with a gift card? That’s cold as fuck.



The criminal-friendly deadbolt lock

This absurdly-expensive Bluetooth-enabled deadbolt lock is an excellent way to let someone into your house who has stolen your phone. All they’ll have to do to open your front door is open the app on your stolen phone and click “unlock.”

To make matters worse, it seems to have firmware problems, and as one reviewer noted, “when my phone is in the house, whoever touches the lock can unlock it.” And anyone prowling around the neighborhood can identify this piece of shit from its glowing blue ring of LEDs. Great job, guys.









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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.