6 October, 2012
Overwhelmed by glucose, your organs cry out in pain. “No!” they beg. “No! Please, no!” But you buy the Brownie Bar Maker anyway. “Now…” you say, grinning down at your digestive system from the outside, “Now… I can have fresh brownies… any… time… I… like.” Laughing maniacally, you begin to punch yourself in the abdomen, softly at first, but then harder, harder, harder. Your cackles continue into the night, punctuated only briefly as the self-administered punches force the air out of your lungs.