Mouthwash that stains your teeth

Have you ever wanted a mouthwash that will stain your teeth, nullify your sense of taste, and chemically burn the inside of your mouth? I just read the reviews for the Crest Pro-Health Clinical Deep Clean mouthwash that I bought and threw in the trash after one use, and it turns out I wasn’t the only one who immediately went back to Regular Cheap Mouthwash.