Are you a parent?

Are you a parent? Tired of your kids coloring things that have nothing to do with your boring taste in music? Then hand them the Indie Rock Coloring Book. Finally, you can pass your taste for soft, unobjectionable mush onto your progeny without all those wasted hours of making them shush while you listen to the ceiling speakers at Whole Foods.

“Only within the lines!” you’ll shout, grabbing their hand to stifle their creativity. “And muted colors. None of this bright stuff. This is indie rock. We’re not sellouts.” The only good thing about this whole idea is that your kids will grow up allergic to this adult-contemporary gruel and probably end up listening to rap.