Butt soap, butt towel, butt sponge


This soap has “BUTT” on one side and “FACE” on the other. So you don’t get your butt germs on your face. Except that, according to studies, your face actually has more germs on it than your butt. Whoops!

The “Face Butt Towel” operates on the same principle, keeping your face germs from going on your butt. Even though you use a bath towel AFTER you wash. So I guess it keeps your face clean from getting on your butt clean.

My favorite of these items, though, is the “Face/Ass Sponge”, which not only doesn’t keep germs from your face and butt separate, but stores them inside the sponge, incubating them in your hot, moist shower for day after day, handy for redistribution onto the face or butt of your choice.

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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.