You can play classical or instrumental music for your child. You can play an actual Smiths album for your child. You can eschew recorded music altogether and sing and play music with your child. But playing them fucked-up MIDI versions of what you liked in college just proves that you don’t actually like music, or your child, at all.
My main complaint here is that it’s called “Naughty Anal Ring Toss.” It’s not naughty, it’s a sex game with a thing you have to put up your butt to play. It would be “naughty” if you had to eat all the cookies in the cookie jar before you played. Just call it Anal Ring Toss. Nobody’s going to be buying Anal Ring Toss thinking it’s for kids.
Tired of using social networks to communicate your actual thoughts and feelings? Then you’ll love “Lines For All Occasions: Tweets & Status Updates.” It’s a small book with hundreds of pre-written bon mots, witticisms, and, I’m guessing, ways to change your profile picture to indicate you hate war and cancer.
The 14-karat gold-plated Slinky is a great way to spend $108 of your hard-earned money in a way that will make you mad. Either you won’t be able to play with it, or the son of a bitch is going to get a kink in it immediately, and you’ll have to sit there and stare at your janked-ass gold Slinky for the rest of your life. You can throw away a five-dollar Slinky and forget about it instantly, but you’ll refuse to chuck this expensive, fucked-up spring.
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