I don’t care how many eggs you eat a day. You just don’t need an Egg Genie. Everything in your kitchen can cook an egg. The stove, the microwave, the coffee maker, the toaster oven, probably the toaster.
If you can’t cook an egg with the appliances and accessories available in the regular American household, the problem lies within. Close your eyes… your internal life is in black and white. You’re always messing up the eggs. You drop the eggs. You shake your head. Maybe you do need this fucking egg tub.
The problem is that if you like to sit around and eat cookie dough, you will not ever make a recipe. You have already established that cutting a plastic weiner of premade cookie dough onto any pan and then leaving the pan in the oven for twenty minutes is too much work for you.
In the interest of fairness, though, this might be a fun book to read while you’re squeezing two thousand calories of liquid fat and sugar into your face from a plastic tube.
Most of us are looking at about 78 years here on Big Blue & Green. Each second that ticks down, each GIF you scroll past, is sand through the hourglass. You will never get that back. Time, entropy, going off a diet, these things are all irreversible.
I wasn’t going to post about this, because I thought, “Well, better a spittoon than an old Mountain Dew bottle full of dip spit” but then I saw “Customers who bought this also bought” and it was full of confederate flags and I couldn’t resist.
The most curious thing about people who hold these appalling views on women – that they are all lazy, gold-diggers, greedy, manipulative, et cetera – is that they are still obsessed with “getting” and “keeping” women, as they would a car, or an action figure. If women must be managed, if they are this antisocial, this awful, why pursue them at all?
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