I get that this sticker is a reference to zombie shows on TV, but then again, I don’t get what it’s getting at. Same with the “Support Zombies” magnetic ribbon. You like zombies, or you don’t, or you’re scared of them, or you fight them?

I guess in a world where children work in third-world factories to make novelties that we bury in the ground when we tire of them, nothing makes sense, and this is just par for the course.

The author of this book has combined two of my least favorite things with “William Shakespeare’s Star Wars.” It may be that you look at this and your pulse speeds up, your mouth dries out, and you whisper “Damn Gina, this is some epic win.” For you, there are two sequels, “The Empire Striketh Back” and “The Jedi Doth Return.” Read them while you eat your shrimp covered in glitter, or while you wear tighty-whiteys emblazoned with the Dave Matthews Band logo, or any other two things I don’t like, put together.

Written by someone for whom English is likely the second, or perhaps third language he’s learned, “How to have sex for as long time as you want or how not to come too soon” (the actual full title of the book) is a very short book that promises that very thing. As the author says, “This BOOL (sic) is ONLY for powerful males. Not for women or plain guys.”

“Born in Zion” is a book by a fundamentalist woman, Carol Balizet, who insists that pregnant women should refuse all medical intervention during the birth of their child. Unsurprisingly, this has directly caused the deaths of several pregnant women, as well as their babies.

The logic doesn’t exactly work, either. If God really wants you to die, he would make that clear by having you die in a hospital, under the treatment and supervision of a team of doctors and nurses. Anyone can die by bleeding out in a kiddie pool in their living room, if they refuse to call an ambulance. That’s not God’s will, that’s you catching a fatal case of being a weird idiot.

Produced by the Michigan Cannabis Business Association, “Stinky Steve Explains Medical Marijuana” is a 28-page booklet for the parent or legal guardian too high to tell their child “Weed makes my back feel better.”

Heliocare is a brand of Calaguala leaf extract, an antioxidant which is now being pilled up and sold as a “sunscreen pill” to protect your skin from damage. While it works to a very small extent, taking it daily is roughly equivalent to applying SPF 3 sunscreen to your skin. You’ll still need topical sunscreen lotion to prevent UV skin damage (which doesn’t cost as much as Heliocare, of course.)