De-cocainized coca

This “de-cocainized coca leaf” is like O’Doul’s, except for cocaine. All of the bitter, disgusting taste of coca leaves, with none of the cocaine.

Compare this to the 5-pound bag of poppy seeds, which, according to its #1-best-seller status and 60 positive reviews, contains relatively high concentrations of morphine and other opioid analogs. “They go very well w my bagels,” remarked one smart-ass home chemist.