This cookie cutter is a “pot o’gold rainbow”. Bizarrely, it looks a lot more like a penis than the “MasterBaker” humping-cookies cookie cutter looks like anything recognizable at all.

The seller perfectly describes this item, which is a thousand metal tabs pulled off of soda cans, as “Great for Arts an Crafts [sic]“.

It has 14 “verified purchase” reviews, which means the seller had to go through at least 14,000 cans of soda over the past year.

As the erotic novel “A Confederate Flag Turned Me Gay” proves, combining two current events doesn’t automatically make a great work of literature.

This is a “Diet Mountain Dew Dale Jr Call,” which, apparently, you blow into, and it attracts a Dale Jr.

The price will be no problem, assuming you have one of these million-dollar bills with Dale Jr.’s face on them. You’ll even have enough money left over to buy a Dale Jr. spatula.

This is exactly what it says: a small can of spring water which you use to “leave a soothing barrier of lightweight moisture over the skin.”

The largest bottle of it is the best bargain, but unfortunately, it still costs $178.57 a gallon. (The smaller bottles cost more than that, per gallon.)

Achieving union with a horse sounds disgusting, and potentially fatal. But Yoga For Equestrians shows us that, actually, you can just do yoga while you’re sitting on a horse, and then it’s, like, a crystal… energy… chakra… horse thing.

Too hippy-dippy and not enough pseudo-scientific mom-based body-movement? Check out Pilates For The Dressage Rider, which is exactly what it sounds like.

And if you’re worried about the horse, don’t be. Horses do plenty of yoga. Check out the Horse Yoga 2016 Calendar for 18 long months of horses stretching their shit.

The most fly hat style, Bucket Hat, has now been combined with the most insanely good clip art that can fit into text message or Instagram captions: Emoji.

But we’re not at 100% yet. No, for that you’d need the “100 Emoji” bucket hat, featuring the emoji of the number “100″, which is weird to Emoji, because you can already type it on a keyboard. But that’s because the free market self-optimizes for profit, not efficiency of communication.