The upside of Fantasy Football Stroker isn’t that you can fuck the football. It’s that when you wear this shirt, nobody’ll know that you’re referring to fucking a plastic football.

(I blurred the entrance and exit of the football pic here due to the bizarre regulations on nudity that exist in our culture. Blame society, not me.)

How about I be the no to your t-shirt?

The Playseat is an over-one-thousand-dollar chair for playing video games. They also make a smaller version that looks like a folding lawn chair, if you’ve only got three hundred bucks in your budget for a chair to sit in while you game.

In an apparent attempt to rebut Ernest Vincent Wright’s 1939 “Gadsby,” a novel written without a single use of the letter “e,” the authors of EEEE EEEE have written a book consisting entirely of the single letter. You can’t help but be on Wright’s side, especially if you hit the “Look Inside” to see that, yes, it’s just the letter “e,” for 540 pages.

This soap is a pretty realistic pile of dog-shit, so I pixellated it (original image is on the listing, if you must.) You can choose from the scents of Bacon, Cannabis, and Monkey Farts.

In an apparent attempt to answer the question “what could possibly ruin the best and most popular video game of all time?” the board-game of Tetris Link has been created. If you’re dead-set on bringing Tetris into the real world, you might at least go for these Tetris-shaped lamps. They’re stupid, but at least they don’t pretend to be fun.

“The Werewolf Always Rings Twice” is a “BBW Paranormal Romance,” which sounds like it might be fat ghosts, or the ghosts get fat supernaturally. I guess you’d have to hit the “look inside” link if you wanted to find out.

TWART is by the author of another BBW Paranormal Romance called “Billionaire Alpha Seeks Curves.”