Monthly Archives: November 2015

Murder Is Money

france-tshirts

Some people, the day after a tragedy, feel sad. Some people feel angry. Some people talk, some people stay silent. But only the true pieces of shit think, “how can I make money off the mass-murder of others?” That’s where the France Paris Attacks Pray For Paris Peace shirt, above, comes in. Gotta make sure you hit all those SEO keywords to max out your murder money! Also see: DLQUEEN Men’s Pray For Paris, Women’s Paris Pray, and the weirdly-gruesome “My Thoughts Go To All French People Tonight” toddler-sized shirt for 2-to-6-year olds. Who is putting a shirt on their 2-year-old to celebrate the murder of over a hundred people?

Also, if you want a hint as to how fast people rush to stake their claim in this wretched market: the “PRAR FOR PARIS” (sic) shirt shows that these pieces of shit don’t even bother to double-check before they slam the design online.



Oppressed In The Butt

oppressed-in-the-butt

The protagonist of this erotic novel finds himself oppressed in the butt by “Starbutts Christmas Blend,” his favorite seasonal coffee.



Animal Poop Songs: The Music Spammer Is Back

animal-poop-songs

If you haven’t been keeping up with Matt Farley, The Music Spammer, he’s continued to release dozens of albums since the last time I wrote about him. Most of them are unremarkable, like “Mature Love Songs”, recorded under the name The Toilet Bowl Cleaners, but the one that stands out to me is Animal Poop Songs. It’s filled with material that can only be classified as music in the technical sense, with song titles like “Yorkie Dog Go Poop Poop Stinky” and “Lizard Poop Poop Poop Poop.” Feel free to listen to the streaming samples, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.