Monthly Archives: March 2017

Radiation-Proof Banana


I know what they’re getting at here, saying that using a handset will stop your phone from blasting so much microwave-frequency electromagnetic current through your skull. But the implication that a bananaphone will protect you from radiation was too good for me to pass up.

At least it’s not banana soda.

(Tune in tomorrow to see what kind of soda tomorrow’s item is not.)

Essential Oils For Kids


For the most part, essential oils won’t hurt your child. But that they have zero medical efficacy, and will not treat or cure any illness.


Unfortunately, parents sometimes use essential oils in place of actual medicine, whether it’s therapy or medication. In many cases, I’m sure it has more to do with lack of access to healthcare than anything, but still, being fleeced out of money for a dilute bottle of pennies’ worth of plant oil is still distasteful.


If rolling coconut oil on the soles of your feet cured indigestion or an upset stomach (yes, that’s actually how they tell you to use this product) we’d all be doing it, and prescription coconut oil would be available behind the counter at the pharmacy. There’s no way pharmaceutical companies would let this get away. Coconut oil would be patented, and the bottles would cost a hundred dollars each, unless you were lucky enough to have full-coverage insurance, in which case you’d get them for a co-pay of only twenty.

Reasons To Vote For Democrats


The currently-number-one best selling book on Amazon, right now, is “Reasons To Vote For Democrats,” an entirely blank book. Of course, the process of spending an unreasonable amount of money by bulk-buying blank books in an attempt to prove a point is now enshrined as an American freedom, sliding neatly into place alongside the phenomenon of eating (or not eating) fast food to prove a similar point.

(Whether or not it actually proves a point, of course, matters less than the willingness of tens of thousands of people to spend money rallying behind a loosely-defined set of political ideas that work against them.)

Beer Mittens


Even apart from the fact that only the coldest, most-northern regions will experience a traditional cold winter after the earth warms a little more, the Boozy Kuzy Beer Mittens aren’t that useful, because you can hold a beer using a regular glove, which would also allow you to do other things with your hand than hold beer.

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