Monthly Archives: July 2017

The Killer Key


This key allows you to “kill” a lock by inserting and turning it. The manufacturer claims that it’s for landlords, but given that their other products are sneezing powderstink bombs, stain-powder, and powdered capiscum, it’s clear this is meant to be used as a “prank.” Not a prank where someone is fooled and then everyone laughs, but the kind of prank where you ruin someone’s day and don’t tell them who did it.

Anyway, some guy bought one and used it on his own house, so enjoy his one-star review of what happened next.

Cake For Dogs


Your dog will eat Puppy Cake’s just-add-water Dog Cheesecake. He’ll also eat any food ever made, and grass from the yard, and poop from the yard. So if you spend your afternon whipping him up a Red Velvet Puppy Cake, and he eats it, it’s not because he’s been craving the taste of red food coloring. It’s because he knows anything you set on the floor is his, and you just set an entire weird little cake down there.

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