Seven years after the hit song “Gangnam Style” was released, a company has made a wind-up toy that masturbates in the style of the song’s video. (I had to pixellate the toy penis; it’s there on the listing itself if you must see it.)

It’s marginally more tasteful than the wind-up Obama toy that gives a Hitler salute as it masturbates… but only marginally.

Sure, any product labeled as “vaginal shrink cream” is pretty awful. But what pushes this one over the edge is the long list of reviews by men who said they used it on themselves.

If you think about it, a fake coin used in sports for the “coin flip” is definitely worth five bucks plus shipping! It’s not like you can get a coin just anywhere, for twenty-five cents.

The field of chiropractic medicine is full of quacks. One of these is Dr. Burl Pettibon, who developed a system of weights that patients wear to “correct their posture” that is deemed to be asymmetrical or incorrect under his system. His practices advocate for the continual “correction” of patients who do not currently experience any pain or problems with their spine. As you might imagine, the chronic use of neck weights and traction can cause pain, nerve damage, and tissue damage that weren’t present prior to use.

But, hey, if you want to pay hundreds of dollars to strap metal bars to your head, it’s a free country. No one’s gonna stop you from ruining your body because you believed some guy who’s taking your money.

Five words: Bad ass throwing spike bracelet.

One more word: Leather.

Two more words: Baaaaad assssss.

Finally, no more stopping by the side of the road to pull shots of espresso! You can make it while you drive, from the comfort of the driver’s seat, with the Handspresso Auto.

They sell “unbreakable” plastic cups as an accessory for it, so if you’re involved in a collision while brewing, you can pick them out of the wreckage, rinse them off, and be up and running as soon as you get a new car.

“Saves time and money,” brags the manufacturer of the Twinkie Maker, a $40 appliance that allows you to spend additional time and money manufacturing Twinkies at home.