The Worst Things For Sale

The “Cruzin Cooler” is an electric scooter mounted to a cooler that can travel at up to 13mph. It costs just shy of a thousand bucks. The worst part? It’s back-ordered due to demand.  

Rabbit TV is a little USB dongle that promises to let you watch “Over 5000 free TV channels.” It’s not an actual service, though. The USB stick just gives you a list of links to click on in your browser. It also makes you enter your credit card number and bills you $14 after the first year of “free” use if you forget to cancel.

The Dyson Air Multiplier is a device similar to a fan, except it’s ten times more expensive ($265.)

Actually, despite its advertising, it IS a fan. The fan is just hidden in the base and squeezes the air out of the ring at the top, instead of just blowing it directly out of the fan blades, making it less efficient than a regular fan. It also sounds like a fucking hair dryer and costs more than the air conditioner I put in my bedroom window.

Every dress is photoshopped. But the manufacturers of this dress did us the favor of making it obvious.

“Perfect Polly” is a fake bird to put in your house, to make you less lonely. No cleanup required, unless you mean the fracking done to extract the crude oil to make into plastic so that you can have a fake bird.

A sad reviewer noted “you cant hear it sing and can only hear the head turn which is just like a quiet blender.”

The $200 “True Mirror” displays an image flipped horizontally from that of a normal mirror. It does this by mounting two regular mirrors at a right-angle. Which, as multiple reviewers noted, you could do by hanging two regular mirrors in a corner.

The “Night Watchman” hat contains a pocket of lead that allows you to use the hat as a blackjack when you whip it off your head per the motion-blur diagram. Sadly, it is not the razor-blade hat from “Surviving Edged Weapons” (possibly NSFW & has some dead body pics so don’t click if you don’t like that kinda stuff.)