Goosh Pants


The euphemistically-named Goosh Pants brag that they are “light weight for wearing extended periods.” Which is what you’d do with a pair of white pants that’s made to look as though you’ve urinated and had diarrhea in them, and the urine and feces dripped down the legs of your pants, realistically staining them. (I had to blur these, but, if you don’t know what poop and pee looks like, feast your eyes on it over here.)

Yoga Pants For Men



No, it’s fine. I’ll wear the pants. See? It’s fine. I have plenty of room to do yoga.


Shit, is that… That is. I know that guy. I have to change. I can’t let that guy down the street see me in these fucking… I mean, these good pants, that are okay.

Your Death, In The Ocean


If you float out to sea by yourself, you’re done for. But with 7 other people, at least you’ll have someone to talk to while you await your salty fate. (Besides, you’ve got a good chance that you’ll pass out from trying to blow this fucking thing up before you even push it into the water’s edge.)

And if the layout of this thing doesn’t give you the end-of-life eye contact you’re looking for, check out Party Island, the sea-death lounger that also fits eight people, but in a more social seating arrangement. You could get the off-brand ten-seater for a bit cheaper, but this is the last thing you’ll ever do. Don’t cheap out. You can’t take that money with you, to your skeletal death, at the bottom of the ocean.

Donald Trump: The Game


Are we playing into Donald Trump’s bizarre, attention-seeking behavior by looking at his terrible board game? Yes, probably. But it’s worth it for the review that includes the line “There are items in the game called tip cards and one tip for Trump is cut the dang hair.”

If you haven’t already seen it, the previous version of Trump: The Game features his bizarre signature on the front, which is probably worth paying the extra five bucks versus the new version.

Body Rap


The touch-sensitive pads say “B B B Body R R R Rap” when you press them. It’s “collectible,” which, I suppose, depends on whether or not you collect Body Raps.

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