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Turn Any Can Into A Bottle: Bottle Tops

bottle-tops

You can now kinda turn any can into a bottle with Bottle Tops, a plastic thing that goes on a can. You could also use Snap Capps, or Bottle Top Cold Beverage, or you could put a plastic piece of shit on top of anything and make it a different thing. In 2014, words have no meaning, and no one knows what they want, but they still buy plastic to make things into other things, to make life better somehow, but it never works. We’re animals, driven by fear, plagued with doubt, tired when we’re awake, and restless while we should sleep. We’re biomass, same as the grass, same as coal, same as the plastic, and some part of each one of us will be plastic one day, in 2015, or 4015, or 300015, hooked onto a can of something terrible before it’s left at the zoo or thrown away. In this, not politics, religion, or culture, we are united. We are garbage, we make garbage, and we will be the garbage.



Do Foot/Toe Stretchers Really Work?

yogatoes

There is no credible evidence that foot stretchers or toe stretchers can prevent or heal injuries to the feet, including bunions, hammertoe, and plantar fasciitis. Long-term use of toe separators, toe stretchers, YogaToes, etc. to stretch the tendons in your feet may result in your toes looking more spread-apart at rest, but that doesn’t mean you’ve strengthened your feet or addressed the underlying conditions that cause pain in your feet and ankles.

Hilariously, after the success of YogaToes, the manufacturers brought out YogaHands, claiming the same benefits of separating your toes could be applied to your fingers. A good rule of thumb is that if you aren’t using your muscles to pull or push against resistance, then what you’re doing isn’t actually exercise. And if you purchase a product that claims to heal several medical conditions at the same time, you might be buying into a scam.



Milked By Force

milked-by-force

Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re settling in for a culturally-mandated gift exchange with your life partner or getting owned by the constant reminders that you are painfully alone, Milked By Force: The Complete Collection is a book you won’t enjoy. It may, however, make you appreciate that you aren’t into non-consensual human lactation.

These books were so poorly written that even discerning lactation consumer “Anime9999″ gave it only four stars out of five. If the lactationers won’t five-star a lactation story, you know it’s gonna be a real turd in the breastmilk.

As always, you can hit the “Look Inside” link to view the depths of this tithorror, if you’re not eating.









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