Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible


Despite its title, this book is about regular old putting the thing in the other thing. Lean back and put that thing in there. Maybe tip over this way and then the other person tips over this way to put the thing in. Go on a pillow and then the other person goes on a pillow before you put the thing in. Nothing groundbreaking. I was hoping there’d be one, just one sex position that eliminated global hunger, or just legalized weed. Nope. Not even a position to stop the universal warrantless surveillance of all American citizens. What a waste.

(The book itself, should you hit the “Look Inside” link on the listing, is not safe for work. FYI.)

Corn Poop Soap


Don’t close your browser tab! It’s not real poop! It’s soap! Soap that’s been meticulously crafted to look like a corn turd. In a dark factory somewhere across the planet, an elderly woman shaves brown and yellow scraps of soap from a large block, forming soap turds in her hands one by one, wondering who would buy a poop soap.

Air-purifying lamp


This lamp “purifies” the air by supposedly releasing negative ions. It’s made of “Himalayan salt”, which is actually mined over 150 miles away from the Himalayan mountains, in Pakistan.

Turning on a fifteen-watt light bulb inside a chunk of salt will not release negative ions from the salt. The chunk of salt is composed mostly of sodium (positive) and chloride (negative) ions. If you wanted to pull the negative chloride ions off and release them, you’d need to heat the lump of salt to around 800 degrees Celsius to melt it, and then run an electric current through the molten salt, which would release chlorine gas. This process would also leave you with molten sodium metal, which reacts violently to both air and water.

This lamp does not release toxic chlorine gas. Nor does it release molten, flaming elemental sodium. Which may be why it’s received mostly positive reviews despite the lack of actual negative ions.

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