A Clock But With Words

led-word-clock

The LED Word Clock isn’t the most annoying clock in the world. Sure, it costs a stupid amount of money, and it takes a practical function and turns it into a chore. But in my opinion, The Runaway Alarm Clock, which combines the unreadability of a small, unlit LCD with the fact that it rolls itself off of your nightstand on purpose, is probably the worst clock you could buy, if you’re looking to tell time.

Of course, neither of these is the Louis XVI bronze mantel clock, which is the price of a very nice car, or a small house (in Ohio.)

Nintendo Cartridge Flask

nintendo-flask

The purpose of a flask is to conceal alcohol so that you can bring it with you somewhere that alcohol’s not allowed. Carrying a Nintendo cartridge flask is probably more suspicious than most things you could stuff into (I’m assuming) your cargo shorts.

A Magic Wand For TV

kymera-magic-wand-for-tv

The Kymera Magic Wand is a $74 electronic device you use to remotely control your TV, by waving it in the air in certain patterns and directions.

Televisions would be so much more fun if they came with something like this. But smaller, and with buttons you could push to directly control the television, instead of memorizing a specific way to wave a stick in the air. And for free.

The USB Drive That Cured Asthma

usb-ionic

The full title of this item is “USB ionic Oxygen Bar Freshener Air Purifier ionizer For Laptop & With a Nice Gift.”

Does it actually do anything? If the graphic of a kitchen, a family, a woman with a dog, and some other tiny things didn’t tip you off: no. You can’t “purify” air with “negative ions.” But that didn’t stop multiple reviewers from claiming it does, including one poor soul who claimed that this USB stick cured his asthma.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.