How To Fall From The Sky

vurtego-pogo-stick

This man spent years, perhaps decades, crafting his body into a machine of physical strength and endurance. It’s a shame that the manufacturer used this picture of him to advertise their pogo stick, which clearly was the cause of the horrific accident that happened less than a second after it was taken.

Then again, it makes more sense than the picture of a hang-glider that some customer submitted with his review.



Flatten Someone’s Car Tires

road-star

Road Stars could be the name of a show on TLC, but, instead, it’s a piece of metal that you use to flatten someone’s car tires. I’m sure there’s some legitimate use for them, but like this pack of caltrops, they mostly seem to be fuel for fantasies about evading “bad guys.” Check out the customer reviews by terrified people saying they “keep them handy.” One even refers to “those times you’re being chased by a gang.” You know, a regular scenario that happens in your real life all the time.

Airplane Cocktail Kit

airplane-cocktail-kit

This small tin contains an even-smaller bottle with a tiny amount of bitters, along with a spoon and two packets of sugar. It sells for an inordinate amount of money, considering that it doesn’t include the bourbon or rye that constitutes most of the drink. After all, a regular-sized bottle of bitters is about twelve bucks, and sugar, spoons, and napkins are usually free anywhere you’d be ordering a drink.

The only good takeaway from all this is that you can buy bitters online (this one is particularly good, FYI) since it’s not considered an alcoholic beverage, despite being full of alcohol. It’s the gentleman’s vanilla extract.



Made In 2011

made-in-2011-shirt

Curiously, this shirt is only available in adult men’s sizes.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.