Rubber Penis Piss Sheath


I pixellated this for obvious reasons, but the uncensored image is right there on the listing. It is what it says in the title – a rubber sheath that fits over your penis, with a tube on it that you can urinate through. Taken by itself, it’s not particularly awful, until you read the review where a guy tried to make his own with a drinking straw and got a penis infection. Don’t read that casually, by the way. Make sure it’s something you actually want to read.

Kratom: An Online Opiate


Kratom, a plant whose leaves contain opioid agonists, is legal. However, the DEA is trucking as fast as an enormous, cruel federal administrative group can truck to make it against the law. Many online retailers have preemptively removed it from their listings as a result, but as with any prohibition of any other psychoactive substance, it’s being quietly sold under some synonyms like Red Vein Sumatran, Maeng Da Micropowder, and Mitragyna Speciosa, the taxonomic name for the Kratom plant itself.

Fortunately, as soon as kratom becomes illegal, it will be impossible to get anywhere, and no one will ever take it again. It worked for weed (marijuana) and it will work for kratom too.

Homeopathic Dog Piss Pills


PetAlive Better-Bladder Control are granules that you give your dog to make him stop pissing. The only saving grace on this product is that most homeopathic “remedies” are water, which would make your dog piss more, but these are dry granules, which might bind up some of your dog’s water and cause him to crap it out rather than pee it on your carpet. Of course, that’s a pretty flimsy justification for selling 20 grams of fake dog pills for $27.

At least it’s not “C-Caps: Promote Complete Cellular Health”, a $44 bottle of  homeopathic pet pills from the same company. What is cellular health, you ask? I’m glad  I pretended you asked, because there’s a crazy-ass book about it, and the cover image has a tape measure wrapped around a strand of DNA as a metaphor for its nonsensical ideas about “toxins” and weight-loss.

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