The best thing about this gastric bypass kit is that it contains THREE full sets of everything you’ll need for a gastric bypass. After you practice on yourself to get the procedure down, you can gastric-bypass two of your friends.
Years later, your child will ask you, “How did you meet Mom?” And instead of a boring answer like “The Internet” or “College” or “A party”, you’ll be able to give them a gripping story of how you Day Banged their mother after months of study and memorization. “I gave her Bait Line #31 and winked at a specific time. She let me hack the closer and I got her number, and then texted her Follow-Up #5. I was a big-time Day Banger and it’s all thanks to an A-to-Z banging strategy devised by pickup master Roosh V.”
Overwhelmed by glucose, your organs cry out in pain. “No!” they beg. “No! Please, no!” But you buy the Brownie Bar Maker anyway. “Now…” you say, grinning down at your digestive system from the outside, “Now… I can have fresh brownies… any… time… I… like.” Laughing maniacally, you begin to punch yourself in the abdomen, softly at first, but then harder, harder, harder. Your cackles continue into the night, punctuated only briefly as the self-administered punches force the air out of your lungs.
The “Stay Off! Mat” emits a piercing shriek when it’s touched. In theory, this will keep your pets off your furniture. If your dog is like mine, though, it will cause you to run into your living room six times a day, hands over your ears, trying to push your fat, sleeping dog off of the Stay Off! Mat.
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