The AtGames “Sega Genesis Console” has 80 built-in games and two wireless controllers for $49.99. Unfortunately, half of the built-in games are homebrew, and only the other 40 are original Genesis titles. And the remotes aren’t bluetooth like modern wireless controllers, they’re infrared, so you have to point them at the box for them to work.

On top of all that, according to the reviews, the emulator inside doesn’t completely work, so the built-in games don’t work like they should, and if you plug in a cartridge, that won’t work either.

The good news is that if you have a modern console, you don’t have to buy this piece of trash – you can get a used copy of “Genesis Collection” for your 360/PS3 for about $10 used.  

This motorized fork spins the end at the push of a button, so you can eat your spaghetti with, as the manufacturer claims, “more satisfying bites.”

The highlight here is the five-star review which says “Just don’t forget them at the restaurant like we had.” Which implies that each member of his family had one, and they brought them to a restaurant, and ate their spaghetti with them. In the restaurant. 

I’ve touched on the “Keep Calm” thing before, but I couldn’t bear the possibility of not sharing this retractable dog leash with anyone. Or this miserably-photoshopped $50 “Keep Calm And Walk The Dog” pillow, that’s made by a different company than the dog leash. Or the $13 “Keep Calm And Quilt On” electrical-outlet cover, where all of the text is gone because it was in the same spot as the outlet holes. Or the flat-image-photoshopped-on-a-round-cup “Keep Calm And Let Me Do Your Makeup” thermos, which also hilariously claims that it’s their trademarked slogan. Buddy, you couldn’t use the warp tool to curve that shit around the thermos, I don’t think you’re out there trademarking anything.  

The only thing worse than poopshame is being proud of the turds you birth. The “Kama Pootra” is guilty of this shitpride, not least of all in the “About The Author” section, where the author proudly states that he graduated from the University of California at Davis. We can only wonder if UC Davis is equally proud of having pushed this spicy meatball through their hallowed passages.

Why should seasonal sex-costumes be limited to Halloween? The women’s Sexy Mrs. Claus up there is about what you’d expect, and as usual, there’s a men’s equivalent, which is a sweater with mistletoe on the bottom, and an arrow that says to kiss the wearer’s dick.

But there is worse. Much worse than either of these. I present to you: the full-body, skin-tight spandex Santa suit. No clicking if you think you might have nightmares about a faceless Santa with a visible package.

Even if you had 49 USB devices to plug into this 49-port USB hub, wouldn’t you agree that $1,149.00 is a bit much to ask for it?

I’m sorry, child chef! I just thought that–

I’m sorry, coffee mug!

I’m sorry, teddy bear!

I’m really sorry, 2-pack of can coolers!!!

AAAAAH I’M SORRY!!!!!!