Monthly Archives: March 2014

Inflatable Bondage Chair

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An inflatable bondage chair is probably not a convincing way to roleplay that you’re unable to move. “Help,” you’ll moan unconvincingly, “I’ve been velcroed to a piece of dorm furniture.” There’s also the downside that anyone who sees it will assume you’re a balloon fetishist, like Tim Popper, the suspiciously balloon-fetish-named author of “Blowing It”, a 132-page work of balloon-fetish fiction.



Deepak Chopra Video Game

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In case you don’t remember who Deepak Chopra is, he’s an internationally acclaimed scam artist and alt-medicine purveyor. Among his claims are that he can manipulate quantum mechanics to cure cancer, that the HIV virus emits sound, and that brushing your teeth can cure cataracts. He is also, bizarrely, a board member of Men’s Wearhouse.

The game itself allows you to “meditate” in front of your giant HDTV using an Xbox and a Kinect sensor, which is kind of a bizarre way to block out the world and look within your mind. But what else would you expect from a man who claims that allergies are a result of poor digestion?

Colloidal Silver: Turn Yourself Blue, Nutcase

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Even though Paul Karason hit the talk show circuits a few years back to show off his blue-gray skin, caused by his chronic intake of colloidal silver, you can still purchase this toxic supplement. There are several kinds available, but this particular brand, Natural Path Silver Wings, is the worst, mainly because they suggest you give it to children. Not only that, but it has over a hundred psychotic reviews. People are claiming that they no longer have to take antibiotics, and that it’s healed second-degree burns, cleared up pinkeye, stopped dandruff, and cured influenza. This guy even claims that colloidal silver healed a bite from a brown recluse spider.

Argyria, the skin condition caused by colloidal silver, doesn’t go away when you stop taking colloidal silver, by the way. It’s caused by silver particles that accumulate in the dermis and sweat glands after you ingest or absorb silver particles through your skin. Since they accumulate in the lower layers of skin, they’re hard to remove.

Convinced that Paul Karason was trying to discredit their mystery cure, colloidal silver proponents celebrated when Karason died last year, at the age of 62.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.