The Paperback is a sticky pad the size of your iPhone, which sticks to the back of your iPhone, so you can take notes on it. It costs $8.95 for 80 sheets, which makes it both more expensive than a regular Post-It note pad, and less capable than the Notes app that is on your iPhone right now.

“Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine” is, improbably, the SECOND book the author has written about Wil Wheaton. The first, “Wil Wheaton: Teenage Sex Machine” was pulled before I was able to publish this, presumably because it was about a specific living person who didn’t give them permission to write about his sex life.

Both of them pale in comparison to the author’s previous work, “Sherlock Holmes: A Strange Case Of Dicklessness,” which you can read in the “Look Inside” link here, and is exactly what it sounds like.

Jimmy, according to the seller of this $160,000 item, is a spiritual friend who communicates solely through a pendulum, which is supplied when you purchase Jimmy. Why would someone sell their spiritual friend, you ask? Well, according to the only customer review, “Jimmy is a dick.”

Let your mug release you from the prison of explaining your personality with words! Now, your coworkers will know at a glance: You’re a cock.

Ladies, there’s a similar one for you too, if that’s how you feel about yourself.

The shower is a quiet, clean, contemplative place for relaxation. The warm water and white noise of the shower running frees your mind and allows you to reflect upon your day, or to enter a blissful state of creative free-association. So it only makes sense that you would put a TV in there to drown out your mind’s only chance to breathe from the relentless ad-driven pounding it receives the rest of the day.  

In a metaphor for our globalized economy, this American flag, one of the most popular flags sold online, was made in China. Happy Independence Day.