Monthly Archives: July 2014

The American Standard 2889.216.020: Part III

I know I wrote about this toilet before (with more animated GIFs) but the ads for the American Standard 2889.216.020 keep getting better and better. If you ever plan to crap out two White Castles without digesting them, you’d better do it into one of these toilets. Ignore the guy who gave it a one-star review because he still has to use a toilet brush to clean it when it gets dirty.


Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine


“Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine” is, improbably, the SECOND book the author has written about Wil Wheaton. The first, “Wil Wheaton: Teenage Sex Machine” was pulled before I was able to publish this, presumably because it was about a specific living person who didn’t give them permission to write about his sex life.

Both of them pale in comparison to the author’s previous work, “Sherlock Holmes: A Strange Case Of Dicklessness,” which you can read in the “Look Inside” link here, and is exactly what it sounds like.

Waterproof Shower Television


The shower is a quiet, clean, contemplative place for relaxation. The warm water and white noise of the shower running frees your mind and allows you to reflect upon your day, or to enter a blissful state of creative free-association. So it only makes sense that you would put a TV in there to drown out your mind’s only chance to breathe from the relentless ad-driven pounding it receives the rest of the day.  

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