How does a dinosaur get a billion dollars? How does an animal choose a human’s sexual preference? And since when did dinosaurs and primates co-exist? You can answer these questions by reading the 15-page masterpiece “A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay.”

It’s by the author of the Transformer-creampie story “Transforming Robot Punished Me.”

The Quirky Egg Minder, a wi-fi tray which monitors how many eggs you have in it, is now only $24. That’s way cheaper than it was when I wrote about it last year! Unfortunately, it’s still twenty-four bucks too much for an app that’s competing with opening your fridge door.

Amazed by the rudimentary joke they made, the creators of “Not See Kola” branded their sugar-water with a Nazi-esque label and blackletter typeface. “NOT SEE, do you get it?” I’m guessing they say at least a dozen times a day.

I’m sighing so hard I’m about to pass out from lack of oxygen, but… Not See Kola is from the makers of Leninade.