Either the paper would be too soft to write on, or you’d have to wipe your ass with the world’s worst toilet paper. There is no winner in the game of Sudoku Toilet Paper.

“I’ll take my yellow chiclets home with me and never complain about my teeth again. Please. Just unhook me from this dental hell.“

It’s still fairly cold out, but I’m sure you can make it through even the toughest winter weather without a pair of mittens that have a hidden flask inside.

“I want a low-quality pair of scissors,” you’ll find yourself thinking one day, “but I don’t want to be able to cut paper or open packages with them.” That’s where Herb Scissors come into your life. Finally, you can cut up herbs, and nothing else, and they don’t even work very well for herbs!

Herb Scissors sounds like the name of a shop teacher, by the way.

There are some people out there, in America, who can’t interact with something unless it’s shaped like a gun. Until the Gun Plunger came along, they either had to unclog their toilet by shooting it, or pistol-whip the pipe until it cleared.

There’s also a Gun Toilet Brush (pictured above) to clean up the spent casings & other debris.

Besides, it’s a must-have to match with the toilet-paper holder made out of two guns.

“Cannabis” is the worst possible name you could use for an energy drink. It would be great for a drink that makes you terrified of Netflix while you watch it for 6 hours.

This remote control allows you to “Control A Woman.”