How are I going to use the 12.5-inch Fantasy Master FM-400S Display Knife?! Dumb question, my friend. The question you should really be asking is, “do I want to find out how the 12.5-inch Fantasy Master FM-400S Display Knife is used for self-defense when its owner is threatened???”

A beer bottle is a disposable (and recyclable) object, so it makes sense that you’d want to bolt a tiny beer-stein lid to it. After all, it takes so long to consume a single bottle of beer that it’s weird nobody’s invented a cover for it. Who knows when a meteor could fly through the earth’s atmosphere, sending tiny shards of space-mineral into the narrow opening of your Piney Dan’s Hop-Roasted IPA Smoked Fucker Stout?

There’s nothing wrong with coloring books for adults, as a thing that adults can do. But if you’re an adult, and you want to color, your choices are a handful of porny titles like The Fetish Coloring Book or Play With My Boobs: A Titstacular Activity Book, or  “Boring Houses: A Sedate Coloring Book Of Buildings.” (Okay, the real title is Historic Houses Of New England, but still.)

You’d think that with how much colored pencils cost, there’d be a mini-industry of good ways to use up your colored pencils so you’d have to buy new ones, but nope, it’s either Story Of The American Revolution Coloring Book or Kinksters With Crayons.

If you didn’t read the Bible, you might think there’s not a lot you can do with a single real human rib.

This book, which I’m going to abbreviate IDCIMBFMIASSHAITASWH, either hits your hot spot or it doesn’t. Let’s just hope that the winds of chance don’t blow this to the top of the rubble-heap when our society inevitably collapses, so that humans a thousand years from now think we were all into this.

By the author of A Gronking To Remember 2: Chad Goes Deep In The Neutral Zone.

Sure, Amy’s Organic Chili is not the most delicious or even a very healthy thing to eat. But that’s not why it’s here.

It’s here because a fan made an unsolicited video commercial for it and posted it in the review section.

What is a “dump dinner”? Sure, it sounds delicious, but how does it taste? Let the cover of “Dump Dinners Cookbook” guide you, with its cover of tater tots floating in a pool of milk. Believe it or not, the contents are even worse (use the “Look inside” on the listing to see em.)