Monthly Archives: May 2015

Bioenergetic Homeopathic Imprinter


What is the Apex Bioenergetic Homeopathic Imprinter? Obviously, to you and me, it’s a medical scam being sold for over $500 to gullible people in search of a cure for their ailment. But the manufacturer says it “captures the body’s bioresonance” and causes a “healing response.” Which are definitely real things.

I strongly urge you to read the long, insane description they’ve provided themselves, since I don’t have the space for it here.

Diseases Caused By Masturbation


You wouldn’t think that a discredited pseudo-scientific treatise from the 1700s would still be in print, but:

1. Here it is

2. Thousands of people online today abide by a doctrine they call “no fap,” claiming that abstinence from masturbation cures their social and physical illnesses.

There’s also “Images You Should Not Masturbate To,” though that’s a more recent book, whose cover appears to show a naked Ron Paul chopping through a frozen lake with an axe.

Sauna Mask


This “sauna face mask” makes your face sweat, which supposedly causes it to become more firm. I don’t believe it, but more importantly, I wanted to show you these pictures.



Day 3. They say we can remove the masks soon, but I’m not sure I believe them. I’m not sure what I believe at all, any more.



Day 17. We’re all going to die here. It’s just a matter of time. Mask works well, though. Four out of five stars.

Dance Before The Police Come


The music on “Dance Before The Police Come!” is about what you’d expect for a dance-music album from 1990, but the cover’s one of my favorites of all time: two oiled-up, shirtless men calling themselves “Shut Up And Dance” command you to dance. With swords. And a pair of nunchucks. And the police are definitely coming soon. It’s in the same league as, perhaps surpassing, “Big Bear: Doin Thangs.”

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