Monthly Archives: August 2015

Clear Skin Capsules


One look at this should tell you it doesn’t work. But the manufacturer’s claim that it “works from the inside by cleansing blood” is pretty brutal.

Of course, the best scammy skin-care product, if we’re going by name alone, is the $29.95 bottle of “You Can’t Zit Here.” It claims to be powered by the imaginary natural-healing mechanism of Reiki, which, as I’ve written about before, is entirely fake and literally based on waving your hands around.

How To Shotgun A Beer


The Shotgun Champ, a product you can purchase, is not how you shotgun a beer. You punch a hole in the side of the can with literally any metal object, then pop the top and drink the foul brew through the hole in the side. I don’t personally endorse the idea, but if it’s something you want to do for personal reasons, you should at least do it in a way that doesn’t involve purchasing a shitty piece of plastic.

But at least it’s not a BottleBong, whose functionality can be replicated with a bendy-straw.

The Apple Hell Boss


The new iPad Telepresence Robot lets you mount an iPad to a pair of wheels so you can silently scoot around your office while you’re working from home, chatting up your coworkers, or perhaps silently spying on them as they fritter your corporate profits away on Twitter.

For the boss who’s cheap enough to skip the pretense of the “social” part of remotely spying on his coworkers, the Appbot Link accomplishes the same thing for a tenth of the price, and features a camera closer to the floor, for added stealth. You can even recline the camera angle for upskirt shots, not that a shitty boss would ever demean his female employees by trying to do such a thing!

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