“Yes, it is printed backwards,” says the manufacturer, “THAT’S THE JOKE!”

I’m a frog. Please pee in my mouth.

The Relaxation Computer System, a collection of medical-hoax technology that comes with its own laptop, includes pre-installed software to make suggestions on pseudo-scientific treatments to perform on yourself. A quick flip through the manufacturer’s photo gallery shows that one of the suggested treatments is to eat mayonnaise.

It costs about what you’d expect.

What is this mystery object? Think about it before you click and find out.

As you’ve no doubt noticed, young adults have increasingly been describing a functional, independent existence as “adulting.” This pack of stickers includes an assortment of routine tasks (you can see them all here, on the listing) and should give you the feeling the Dutch describe as plaatsvervangende schaamte, which literally means “place-exchanging shame”, or shame you feel on behalf of someone who should feel ashamed, but doesn’t.

(The German language has a similar word, fremdschämen, which makes it even more strange that English, the home language of “adulting”, doesn’t.)

The June Intelligent Oven is a countertop oven about the size of a small microwave that you control with your phone. (Here’s a picture of the app, along with a few other pics.) It lets you watch live video of your food cooking, which traditionally was only available by looking through the front of your oven, which is supposedly inconvenient.

The main use-case seems to be steak, which is something you could accomplish on a stovetop burner, grill, normal oven, bath of water, or literally anything that gets hot. You can even cook a steak by wrapping it in foil and leaving it on the engine block of your car while you drive, as this book of car-engine recipes points out. But your car, which you already own, won’t make them an absurd amount of money when you buy it.

When the entirety of your knowledge of hip-hop culture is that it’s “gangsta” and that Snoop Dogg, at one point, said “izzle” on words, then you might write “Tha Holy Bibizzle”, an unsurprisingly racist retelling of the first few books of the Bible. Its authors have chosen to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.