Sex Monopoly

xxxopoly-adult-monopoly

How do you make sex boring? I’m glad you asked. The answer is XXX-opoly, the adult board game that turns your sex life into a chore that makes you hate your partner.



The Trophy

trophy-and-son

Congratulations, trophy… you did so well at sports that they gave your infant child back to you. The other trophies were not so lucky.

Collect Moments, Not Things

collect-moments-not-things-sign-1

Well, that’s a good idea, sign, and it’s…

collect-moments-not-things-bottle

 

Yeah, should probably get that slogan on a water bottle too. It’s really important to…

collect-moments-not-things-keychaincollect…

collect-moments-not-things-opener

 

moments…

collect-moments-not-things-mirror

 



Sex Checks

sex-checks

As Valentine’s Day approaches, it’s good to remember that nothing says romance like a book full of demand slips you give to your partner for specific deeds. You can see some of the slips in detail on the listing, but they’re as depressing as you’d expect.

Tactical Beer Coozie

tactical-beer-coozie

For those SEAL type operations that also involve drinking beer for long periods of time, there is the Tactical Beer Coozie.

It’s no “COOL DUDE”, the beer coozie that guarantees you’re not what it says on the side, but in a military operation where seconds can mean the difference between life and death, it’s something essential to your survival.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.