Forktula is a spatula you attach to your fork, so you can, in the manufacturer’s words, “lick your plate in public.” They have, unfortunately, done nothing to address the problem of attaching the end of a spatula to a fork in public, and using it to scrape food residue into your mouth.

The Sharpie Safe


This modified Sharpie marker allows you to “hide your money, pills, or other valuables in plain sight.” You know, if your valuables fit inside of half of a sharpie marker, and you’ve got some way to fish them out after you cram them in there, and you weren’t able to pull the top off a regular Sharpie yourself to begin with. (The reviews are, thankfully, as bad as you’d expect.)

Cat Diffuser


Comfort Zone is an electric scent-diffuser you plug into the wall, which is supposed to calm your cats. Whether it works or not is up for debate (some reviewers think it does, some think it doesn’t) but several of them report that the diffuser unit starts to smoke, melt, and burn, which seems like it might be bad if you’re not into house fires.

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