Music Cats Love When You’re Gone


The premise for this album is that cats listen to music, which they don’t. Customer reviews are mixed, but those who gave it five stars say their cats responded to it by going to sleep, which is something cats do for at least twelve hours a day regardless of what you’ve got on the stereo.

There are other albums meant for cats to listen to (those are two separate, different albums.) And there are also albums for dogs, who also do not listen to music. The only way a dog’s listening to anything is if it’s a one-hour recording of dogs barking.

Emoji Magic 8-Ball


Made out of a yellow sphere of crying-while-laughing, the Magic Emoji 8-Ball serves up a variety of emoji-based predictions when you turn it over. (The full set is shown on the manufacturer’s listing.) It’s frequently bought with Uno Emoji, because humanity is locked in a cabin on a sinking ship, nowhere to go, running out of ideas as the water rises around us.

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