The “Cannabis” Energy Drink

cannabis-energy-drink

“Cannabis” is the worst possible name you could use for an energy drink. It would be great for a drink that makes you terrified of Netflix while you watch it for 6 hours.



Shoot Your Shit: The Gun Plunger

gun-plunger

There are some people out there, in America, who can’t interact with something unless it’s shaped like a gun. Until the Gun Plunger came along, they either had to unclog their toilet by shooting it, or pistol-whip the pipe until it cleared.

There’s also a Gun Toilet Brush (pictured above) to clean up the spent casings & other debris.

Besides, it’s a must-have to match with the toilet-paper holder made out of two guns.



The Sudoku Toilet Paper Roll

sudoku-toilet-paper

Either the paper would be too soft to write on, or you’d have to wipe your ass with the world’s worst toilet paper. There is no winner in the game of Sudoku Toilet Paper.



Egg Is A Gun

fried-gun-egg-for-real-men

What is the most American egg, you might ask? Obviously, it’s a fried gun egg. Because the only thing that can stop a bad guy with an egg is a patriotic American hero, also with an egg, and the hero will get his egg out first, and save the day.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.