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Bad-Ass Violent Art

shot-in-face

It’s a canvas artwork of a lady being shot by a gun, but the lady is actually the earth, and the gun is actually an industrial city! Not only is it badass, but it’s incredibly deep. Philosophically. Just like the same company’s piece of a girl with a bird for a head, and she’s underwater (maybe?)

If those are too much metaphor for you, they also sell a similar artpiece of a man who is on fire. He’s just burning to death. Nothing more, nothing less.



Use Magnets To Sleep And Heal

earthpulse-emf

There are hundreds, possibly thousands of devices to block EMF radiation, long-held in the medical scam community to be the source of every mental and physical problem an alive human could experience. Yet, the EarthPulse Sleep On Command Sleep System operates an EMF transducer directly below your head while you sleep, and the same quacks say it’s great, and works.

It’s not cheap, of course.

There’s also a similar “electromagnetic field therapy mat” which you unroll and lay on, or stand on, or sit on. It doesn’t really say! It’s almost exactly the same price as the sleep thing.

The PetPatch is an EMF transducer for your pets, which, thankfully, is an order of magnitude cheaper than the other two. It’s got me wondering, though – what if you installed a PetPatch and an eLink EMF Neutralizer crystal on your dog at the same time? I mean, nothing would happen, except the dog would try to take his necklace off, but it’s funny to imagine that any of these things exhibit any effect beyond reducing your bank balance.



Eat Your Own

eat-your-own-cum

Let me save you the $1.69: you pull the boat to shore, have the seamen disembark, and eat them one by one.

As self-published sex books go, though, this one probably has the best fake author name.



Showering, For Men

axe-detailer

Scrubbing your skin with a poofy loofah is “for girls,” says Axe, introducing the Axe Detailer, which is a loofah. But for men. It’s not a princess exfoliator for prettiness. It’s a hardware detailer for a man’s big, hard muscles. Maybe two guys get in the shower together, and Axe Detail each other, to make sure they get it all. Fuck yeah, bro. Men rule.









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