Boxed Water

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Buying mail-order water in boxes is not, as the manufacturer claims, environmentally responsible. There might be a source of drinking water in your home that doesn’t have to get driven to your doorstep by a gas-burning truck, if you think about it.

At least it’s not “blk”, the water that’s colored opaque black by added chemicals, sold at an even higher premium because it’s alkaline, a property beloved by nuts and hoaxers the world around.



Oven Rack Hand-Burners

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This set of oven-rack protectors almost makes sense at first, but if you think about it for a moment, you realize that if you stick something made of silicone in the oven, it gets hot like the rest of the oven. So you reach in the oven after baking your silicone things for twenty minutes, touch them, and are shocked to find out that they’re hot. (The reviews mention this frequently.) The reason silicone works as an insulator for oven mitts is because it doesn’t degrade when exposed to high temperatures, and is a thermal insulator, meaning that it picks up heat more slowly than a thermal conductor, such as metal, or your hand.

Anyway, even if these silicone protectors did work, which is to say that they somehow stayed cool after baking in the oven and allowed you to safely touch the oven rack, the next step of action would be to reach in there and grab that hot pizza with your bare hands.

(Silicone isn’t a particularly good insulator, it’s just a cheap, inert one. Fiberglass, used in home insulation, is about 8 times more thermally insulating than silicone rubber. And Aerogel, a synthetic material made of silica, is three times better at insulating than fiberglass, if you’re interested in heat transfer or materials, which most people aren’t.)

Cat Hair, Dog Hair, Human Hair

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If you liked “Crafting With Cat Hair” then you should know that there’s a similar book about knitting with dog hair.

The real story here, though, is that you can purchase real human hair online. That means it’s only a matter of time until someone writes “Human Hair Handicrafts: 39 Creepy Nodules You Can Leave Around Your House.” Since the demand will quickly outstrip the available supply, crafters will be forced to read “HairTime: Guaranteed Strategies 2 Make A Woman Give U Her Hair” and “Get That Hair! A Crafter’s Manifesto.”






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.