“But I’m still hungry!” you cry, shooting down the interstate at 78 miles an hour, while you try to dump coffee grounds into the precariously-balancing Roadpro Coffee Maker. Then I offer to you the Roadpro 1.5 Quart Slow Cooker. One jerk of the wheel and you’re not only covered in scalding coffee, but in piping-hot chili, soup, or stew.
No, Yankee Candle, a place called “Man Town” doesn’t smell like a blend of spices, woods, and musk. It smells like beer that went stale as it soaked into a beige carpet that’s never been vacuumed, with hints of moldy shower and piss on the wall next to the toilet.
Contrary to the manufacturer’s claim, Flipper, a foot lever hooked to a string that Rube-Goldbergs your toilet lid up and down, won’t “save your marriage.” You’ll need communication skills and two fewer kids to do that.
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