Cryptocurrency t-shirts

crypto-millionaire

Bitcoin, somehow, keeps increasing in value, and along with it, alternate currencies are capturing billions of dollars of wealth. Now that it’s regularly being covered in the mainstream media, and the average person understands it’s worth a shitload of money (if you can convert it back to dollars, which is more difficult than it seems) it’s dumber than ever to wear cryptocurrency shirts. (See this case of a guy who was kidnapped and had $1,800,000 worth of Bitcoin stolen at gunpoint.)

“Crypto Millionaire” is an obvious one, because it literally begs someone to steal your money, but the “99 Problems But My Bitcoin Ain’t One” shirt isn’t much better. And “Bitcoin Whale” literally means “I have a shitload of Bitcoin.” More obvious even than Bitcoin Whale is “I bought before it reached $10.000.”

Tangentially, the “Jesus Loves Bitcoin” shirt, while not an overt advertisement for your crypto-wealth, is only for people who never heard what Jesus did to the moneychangers.

Anyway, if you get biffed over the head with a rock in a sock while you’re waiting for your UberX, and someone steals your Monero, Ripple, or Ethereum by forcing you to authenticate a currency transfer, as this shirt says, “told ya.”

Let Your Dog Page You With PawCall

petchatz-paw-call

The PetChatz PawCall is a “smart button” that alerts you when your pet wants to talk to you. The button also dispenses a treat. By letting your pet use this, you are using food as a reward to train them to repeatedly alert your phone while you’re at work or in another room of the house.

It works exclusively with PetChatz HD, a two-way video and audio system mounted at animal-height on your wall to allow your pet to video-chat with you while you’re at work. PetChatz doesn’t just dispense treats and prison-phone your animal, it releases PetChatz essential oil to “calm your pet.”

 






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.