Beer Mittens

boozy-kuzy-beer-mittens

Even apart from the fact that only the coldest, most-northern regions will experience a traditional cold winter after the earth warms a little more, the Boozy Kuzy Beer Mittens aren’t that useful, because you can hold a beer using a regular glove, which would also allow you to do other things with your hand than hold beer.



Tikker, The Countdown Watch

tikker-countdown-watch

The original idea behind Tikker was that you calculate how long you’re going to live, punch it in, and then watch the grains of sand slip through the hourglass of your life. That’s dark enough that I’d give it a pass, but according to its terrible customer reviews, it’s poorly made, hard to program, and considers a month to be exactly thirty days, rendering it useless for its pivot application of giving a countdown to an event or due-date of a project.

Spinning Toys & Tops

foreverspin-spinning-top

One of the strangest micro-industries to pop up in the last few years is that of the spinning toy. Foreverspin (above) was the beginning of this, as far as I can tell, when it raised half a million bucks on Kickstarter to make precision spinning tops. I can’t imagine how it would be “the perfect gift”, as they claim, for any of the people I know, including children. But it’s popular, and lucrative, and there were soon ripoffs of the Foreverspin, which were bound to happen given that it’s, uh…. a mass-produced single piece of metal.

There’s also an entire copycat-on-copycat line of “EDC Spinners”. EDC stands for “Every-day carry,” suggesting that you’d bring them with you wherever you go, along with your wallet, keys, pocket-knives, and, presumably, a holster with a Mag-Lite in it, in case you get stuck in a dark room. There’s the brass bone-shape, the triangle, the “military-grade” Destroyer Axle, and dozens more. Most of them seem to imply it’s good for “killing time,” though why you’d buy one of these for thirty or fifty bucks instead of a phone full of social media, websites, and porn is anyone’s guess.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.