The Dream Helmet

dreamhelmet

The Dream Helmet is a thick blue bandage for your whole head. It has pockets so you can hide things next to your head at night. It’s supposed to help you sleep, though I’ve never been able to sleep particularly well with my keychain and wallet velcroed to my face.  



The Terrible World Of Sriracha

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I’m glad that our planet’s Bacon Years are over, and now we can go back to normal stuff like Sriracha socks. Sure, it’s not very good for a hot sauce, but at least it’s pretty healthy, and

sriracha-bottle

Haha yeah, it looks like you’re drinking Sriracha, but it’s for water! I’m glad this isn’t going overboard like the bacon stuff, because

i-cock-sriracha

Wait, you cock hot sauce? What do you mean? Is this some kind of

sriracha-lip

No!!! Not this again! Just because people like one thing doesn’t mean you have to

sriracha-candy

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Tampon Flasks: Hide Liquor In Your Tampons

tampon-flasks

“Tampon Flasks” are test tubes which come with fake tampon wrappers, so you can bring an ounce of liquor (per tampon) somewhere and then pour it out of your tampon into your drink. Or just drink it straight out of the tampon! Both of those would be totally normal in a public place.                                      






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.