7 Reasons Why School Sucks

seven-reasons-why-school-sucks-book

I’m not sure the way to convince the world that “school sucks” is with a book that begins: “I wanted to write this book because too many people think, that if they do bad at school, they are a failure.” There’s more in the Look Inside, if you’re not already burned out on incoherence, which you might be, given that the president just banned burritos using zero complete sentences. (I wrote this entry a week in advance, so I’m just guessing what will have happened by the time this appears on the site.)



Bluetooth Vibration Platform

bluetooth-vibration-platform

Claiming it to be a form of “passive exercise,” the makers of this whole-body vibration platform included a Bluetooth connection so you can listen to music while you vibrate your body. Of course, as you might suspect, it’s dubious that this actually causes hypertrophy in your muscles, and it’s been proven that high-intensity vibration can damage your organs. So you might want to stick to actual exercise, or not exercising. Or sitting on your washing machine. Whatever works for you.



The Ass Eater’s T-shirt

eat-ass-shirt

I don’t speak Japanese, but Google tells me that the translation for the phrase on this childrens’ shirt, “ケツを食べる”, is “Eat ass.”



Misprinted Pens

misprinted-pens

For only $30, you can have a mixed box of pens, printed with random companies’ addresses and slogans. The manufacturer points out that you’ll get “200 to 250 pens” for this price. A box of 144 Bic ballpoint pens costs about twelve bucks, which is 33% cheaper than the misprints.



The Solar Eclipse Is Coming

path-of-totality-nashville-eclipse-shirt

Do you have your t-shirt celebrating Nashville as the largest-solar-eclipsed city of the southeast United States in the 2017 total solar eclipse?

(If you’re going to stand outside and look at it, BTW, you need some eclipse glasses so you don’t damage your eyes. The ones I linked are cheap and probably more useful than a t-shirt.)






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.