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A Small Rosebud

rosebud-stroker

What follows is extremely graphic, so if you’re not into reading about extreme porn, skip this one & don’t click the pic.

A “rosebud” is, in porn terminology, the prolapse of the rectum, turned inside-out and pushed out of the sphincter so it’s visible externally. It’s as wretched as you’d think it would be, if you’ve never seen one before. What hides behind the heavily-pixellated picture and link is, thankfully, not an actual person’s rosebud. It’s the next-worst thing, though, which is a gelatinous “toy” whose entrance point is a relatively-enormous rosebud.

The consequences of a young woman physically ruining her rectum to push the boundaries of porn are easy to imagine. It’s also a short mental leap to a world in which an adult actress offers up her liver for fucking on camera. They’ll call it “brown-lobing” at first, but then they’ll switch to “daisies.” Daisies sounds nice. Not at all like someone ruining a real person’s internal organs for a few hundred dollars.

Why are taxes so hard to file?

turbotax-lobby

The answer is easy: Intuit, makers of TurboTax, has spent over $10,000,000 lobbying the federal government to keep it from reforming the tax code. Both Democrats and Republicans have been recipients of lobbyists’ money on this issue, and both have kept tax-reform bills from passing.

Your W-2 and 1099 forms should be arriving by the end of the month, so unless you’ve got the dough for an accountant, you’ll probably have to use TurboTax 2014 unless you’re in the mood to sweat out a stack of forms with a pencil, a calculator, and a heavy sense of resentment towards everyone involved.



Earthing: A medical scam

earthing-mat

What is “Earthing”? It’s a medical hoax that purports to cure your ailments by connecting you electrically to earth. This is a conductive mat which comes with a huge alternative-medicine price tag, and like most hoax products, it’s made out of about five bucks’ worth of plastic and wire. You plug it into your wall socket, where it connects to the ground plug, and then the magic starts.

If you’re convinced that this isn’t horseshit, you can read the book “Earthing: The most important health discovery ever?” The answer to that is probably no, but maybe you’re really gullible, and you want to get an even more expensive Earthing sheet set for your bed, and nail your ass to the ground while you sleep.



Breast Melons

breast-melons

The seller of these “breast melons” is perpetrating a hoax. This picture comes from an art installation in Vietnam, not from an actual plant that was grown from seed. (I can’t show the nipples here, as stupid as that sounds, but the original picture’s on the listing.)

They’re regular squash seeds, according to the reviews of people who bought and grew them. It’s more believable than the people selling blue strawberries, but it’s still not real, unfortunately.







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