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Ear No Evil: The Political Piece Of Plastic

bullshit-protector-ear-no-evil

“Ear No Evil” is two pieces of plastic you wear over your ears, if you’re an asshole. It costs $7.99 and is available in both Trump and Clinton versions. God forbid you talk to someone who isn’t voting for the same person.



Bad Parking Magnets

bad-parking-magnet

The theory goes that you would buy this ten-pack of magnets and then put them on someone else’s car to tell them to park better. This would, however, make you a much bigger asshole than someone who didn’t align their car in a parking spot to your specifications. A similar business-card-based product exists, but purchasing 100 of them might be even worse, as it implies you’re in the amateur-parking-cop game for the long haul.



The Shocker Hat

the-shocker-hat

The Shocker, a hand gesture from 2003-ish (not quite a joke, though treated by some as if it were) lives on in hat form. It’s by the makers of Cheeseburger Hat. Which is frequently bought with Pumpkin Pie Hat. The hat rabbit hole goes deep, so if you’re in the mood for “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought,” follow one of those links and see where you end up.









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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.