A Guide To Talking Human

smooth-talking-book

The cover of this book doesn’t give you a true picture of the horrors that lay within. Slyly disguised as a guide to ease social interactions, it’s actually a bizarrely awkward and insulting guide for how to approach women. I don’t think the author has ever had a conversation with another human being, as evinced by this excerpt:

You: I recently started training Brazilian jiu-jitsu (or any hobby of yours) and it’s helping me express bottled up emotions.

Her: Wow that sounds so cool.

Really, though, you’d have to hit the “Look Inside” to see the true scope of this book’s robotic word-terror.



My Gun Family: The Sticker

gun-stick-figure-family

In a world of stick-figure-stickers, there are thousands of variations and parodies, each worse than the last. But I feel none match the tone of this particular one, whose official title is “Auto Sticker-Funny Car Sticker-Gun Family-Stick Family Decal-Window Sticker-Sticker Decal-Window Decal-Car Decals-Vehicle Sticker.”

If I had to put one in second place, it would probably be the “I Will Literally Murder Your Family With Guns” stick-figure sticker.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.