The Neck Hair Guide is a piece of plastic that you strap to your neck to cut your neck-hair straight across, by yourself. It costs $9.99. If you can’t tell if you’re cutting your neck-hair straight across, you won’t be able to see if the Neck Hair Guide is crooked, either.
No, you can’t cure cancer by drinking carrot juice. You can’t begrudge someone for coming up with bizarre ideas to try to cope with mortality, but you can absolutely begrudge them for telling other people to drink carrot juice instead of receiving treatments which are clinically proven to treat cancer.
This small tin contains an even-smaller bottle with a tiny amount of bitters, along with a spoon and two packets of sugar. It sells for an inordinate amount of money, considering that it doesn’t include the bourbon or rye that constitutes most of the drink. After all, a regular-sized bottle of bitters is about twelve bucks, and sugar, spoons, and napkins are usually free anywhere you’d be ordering a drink.
The only good takeaway from all this is that you can buy bitters online (this one is particularly good, FYI) since it’s not considered an alcoholic beverage, despite being full of alcohol. It’s the gentleman’s vanilla extract.
Like a marine whose first order of business at chow is to stir all of his meal’s components into a homogeneous stew on his tray, the instinct to combine separately-edible components into a murky displeasure continues to defy our growing culinary culture. Oreos, chocolate, and bacon are all relatively cheap and delightful pleasures on their own, but together, they somehow cost five dollars per cookie. Not per package. Per cookie.
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