The Sun Mullet is a mullet emulator that works with your baseball hat or head to give you a simulated cloth-based mullet. The manufacturer claims it can be used 8 ways, and demonstrates them in a lengthy series of pictures I don’t have room to post here. But I’ll show you just one more, to give you a taste of what awaits.
This Halloween costume is an orange jumpsuit with a prosthetic boner. I’ve done you the favor of cropping the image, but you can click through to the full picture if you’re wondering what the boner looks like.
For those more willing to read a book than listen to rap and practice rapping, there is How To Rap 2. Which gives such amazing advice as “sometimes you can mix singing and rapping”, and “Grunt, laugh, and make miscellaneous sounds.” Somewhere, someone in the world is reading this book and thinking “Damn! I didn’t know I could grunt on a rap song! Finally, my rap career is going to take off!”
Regular toilet paper is white, meaning that it will match any color or combination of colors you use in your bathroom. But maybe you’re tired of seeing brown butt-dirt on that clean white paper, and you need a different color to offset what you didn’t digest. That’s an OK feeling to have, because feelings are natural. Just be prepared to pay a lot for a three-pack of your green toilet paper, and also for me to say your natural feelings are stupid.
Sorry. If you wanted to be a teacher or you wanted to learn to paint I’d tell you to go for it.
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