This album is 21 years old, but you’ve got to hand it to Trick Daddy for titling his sophomore album “www.thug.com,” and titling the first track “Log In.”  (Please go and listen to “Log In,” if you have six seconds to spare. That’s how long it is.)

The Baby Head Theremin


The theremin is probably the most difficult instrument to play accurately, since your hands float in space, making it hard to acquire “muscle memory” for playing individual notes. Building a theremin inside a plastic doll head would make it completely impossible to use.

Black TP


Only the most brutal of bathrooms can handle the gothic bleakness of black toilet paper. “I am the night,” you’ll whisper, slowly threading the expensive butt-roll through your glutes.

Later, you’ll spill your goblet of blood and reach for the same company’s black paper towels, eyes rolling back into your head as you summon Bountytoth, the Dark Lord of Cleaning.

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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.