The Butter Cutter

butter cutter

Instead of opening the end of the butter wrapper and cutting a piece off the end with a knife or fork, how about you unwrap the whole thing and load it into the special cartridge of the Butter Cutter. Then you find that (according to reviews) a regular stick of butter won’t fit. You actually have to cut off a hunk of the butter before loading it into the Butter Cutter. Also, if you keep it in the fridge, the butter will be too hard to cut with the Butter Cutter. Also, the butter gets caught inside and you have to scrape it out with a knife. It’s the convenient way to cut butter.



Your Dick Lifts Weights

private-gym-the-penis-gym

Private Gym is an absurdly expensive DVD/app that comes with a little dongle to clip onto yourself while you’re watching the videos. Like every other penis product in the universe, it claims your penis will work better, and your partner will love you more. And while it’s true that strengthening your pelvic-floor muscles can have health benefits, there are instructions online on how to do the exercises yourself, for free. You don’t need a chip-clip and a DVD.

A Small, Cursing Helicopter

flying-fuck

It’s bizarre that this helicopter, which allows you to fly the word “FUCK” around your yard or local park, never quite manages to use the f-word in its listing. The manufacturer’s picture blurs out the U in the picture and they censor it as “F#*k”, “F*CK” and, “F.uck” at various points. It is, as you’d imagine, cheaply made, but more offensive to me is the commitment to ruining every occurrence of this not-actually-forbidden word.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.