What Happens If You Eat Edible Glitter


I haven’t eaten edible glitter, because I’ve already sacrificed enough of my health and longevity in the pursuit of sitting in front of a computer fourteen hours a day. But if it’s non-toxic, and indigestible, if you eat glitter, it stands to bear that your next-day trip to the toilet will be covered in turquoise sparkles.

What Are Herb Scissors?


“I want a low-quality pair of scissors,” you’ll find yourself thinking one day, “but I don’t want to be able to cut paper or open packages with them.” That’s where Herb Scissors come into your life. Finally, you can cut up herbs, and nothing else, and they don’t even work very well for herbs!

Herb Scissors sounds like the name of a shop teacher, by the way.

The “Cannabis” Energy Drink


“Cannabis” is the worst possible name you could use for an energy drink. It would be great for a drink that makes you terrified of Netflix while you watch it for 6 hours.

Shoot Your Shit: The Gun Plunger


There are some people out there, in America, who can’t interact with something unless it’s shaped like a gun. Until the Gun Plunger came along, they either had to unclog their toilet by shooting it, or pistol-whip the pipe until it cleared.

There’s also a Gun Toilet Brush (pictured above) to clean up the spent casings & other debris.

Besides, it’s a must-have to match with the toilet-paper holder made out of two guns.

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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.