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Sack Of Shit

sack-of-shit

I don’t know who would want a bag full of fake turds, but if you do, you can now buy them a “Sack Of Shit.” 

If they’re sensitive to the S-word, but they still want plastic feces, the same manufacturer makes “A Bag Of Poop.”

A different company makes Fake Poop In A Gift Box, but I can’t decide whether enclosing the turd in a golden box tied with a ribbon is better or worse than just throwing it in a bag.

Soylent meal replacement drink

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Soylent is a powdered drink-mix developed by an electrical engineer who decided to “optimize” food by reducing it to a series of identical cummy shakes.

We can only hope that the creator will optimize the human needs for companionship, joy, and achievement in a similar manner.



Fake Pregnancy Tests

positive-preg-test

The world of fake pregnancy tests is a terrible one. The comedy angle (above) is obviously fake, and most of the customers complain that it’s not believable. There’s a different one with a more believable name and packaging (you have to give them credit for naming it Right Time, because if you google “right time pregnancy test”, you’ll just pull up people asking about ovulation cycles.)

But we take a dark turn here, as there’s a company called Midstream which makes several “prank” pregnancy tests out of real ones which they’ve altered and resealed. “No bodily fluids used,” they brag in their altered First Response pee-test listing. There’s a couple others, including a rigged Equate brand pregnancy test, in case it’s more believable that you wouldn’t shell out for the name brand. I was a bit iffy on the morals of selling fake pregnancy tests to begin with, but actually trying to convince someone they’ve knocked you up is clearly over the line.

(Two lines, if you’re pregnant.)









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