27 September, 2016
27 September, 2016
26 September, 2016
These wall-chalkboards always exist in a fantasy land I think of as DreamEurope. You’re going to write farm-restaurant stuff on them in cursive, and your basket of fresh baguettes is obviously going to be right there, because you took your wicker basket to the fucking market, because this is DreamEurope. Your avocados are always in the imaginary stage between rock-hard and rotten, your berries never get moldy in the time it takes you to drive home from the grocery, and you always wash your dishes the day you use them, never going for weeks or even months eating hot dogs on paper plates because the thought of doing anything else makes your body feel so heavy you can’t move. The sun always shines, no one ever Brexits, and everyone speaks fluent English with a light French accent. I love DreamEurope.
25 September, 2016
If you’re still using memes from 2010, you’ll love the “Deal With It” glasses. Slide them down over your face like the GIF! Wear the matching Deal With It Meme T-Shirt while you do it to achieve maximum epic memeness.
24 September, 2016
The only way this works as satire is if all you know about communism is that “it’s bad” and that the red book is “the bad book.” Then again, we’re so far into the worst election season of our lives that we’re all grasping at some way to explain what’s happening, trying to construct a logical explanation for our nation in 2016 other than “democracy has failed us.”
23 September, 2016
JavaMoji, the combination of K-Cups with emojis, is what happens when marketing people draw up a list of popular ideas and combine them indiscriminately. It’s worth a click to see the identical reviews all claiming that everyone at the office loves JavaMoji, though.
22 September, 2016
The Bucardo Pocket Watch lets you transform your Apple Watch into a pocketwatch. Which you put into your pocket. Where you put your phone. So you can pull your pocketwatch out of your pocket instead of having to pull your phone out. It costs about three times as much as you’d think it would.