21 September, 2014
Although it could be argued that Crystal Pepsi (or perhaps Orbitz) was the quintessential failed 90s soda, Surge is the only one that’s being manufactured again in 2014. Predictably, the Internet has left hundreds of “funny” reviews on the item listing. Whether you’re serious or ironic about saying you love Surge, the end result is the same: you’re using the miracle of global electronic communication to discuss a billion-dollar company’s sugar water.
20 September, 2014
Not a dildo made out of a corn cob! That would be gross! It’s a regular dildo, but it’s shaped like a corn cob. The manufacturer notes “Men and women all can use, Used for vaginal or backyard,” so if you were worried about corndo’ing in your back yard, you should be safe. Well, except for the one review that says “Could not stand the smell. Could not get the smell to go away.”
Bummed out? Don’t be. There’s another corndo available, and this one is a lot more popular. And if just one corndo won’t do the job, they also sell a case of twelve.
19 September, 2014
I don’t know if I’d take love advice from Carlos J. Lee, author of “Bitch Are You Retarded?” Apart from the obvious, he’s also the author of “Baby Car Car: A Disturbing Story Of Demonic Torment And Possession.”
18 September, 2014
17 September, 2014
16 September, 2014
“DON’T WASTE THIS IN COFFEE,” writes a caps-lock-loving reviewer named Edward, who goes on to extol the virtues of eating Nestle Coffee-Mate with a spoon. It’s tempting to think he’s joking, but the caps lock and the “Verified Purchase” shown on the review have convinced me he’s serious as a coffee-creamer-induced heart attack.