Bluetooth Padlock

noke-bluetooth-padlock

The manufacturers of Noke, the padlock you unlock with your phone via Bluetooth, brag that you’ll save yourself from the “hassle” of keys by using your phone to unlock their $70 padlock. They then sell a separate $25 remote, which you attach to your keychain, to allow you to unlock your lock without a phone.

The battery inside is estimated to last a year, which is handy if you’re planning on using it over a longer period of time. Of course, it could stop working sooner, if the app fails due to an OS update on your phone. Or, as several reviewers note, if it quits working one of the first times you try it, sealing your clothes inside your gym locker (or your bike to a pole) for eternity.

The Airplane Cocktail Kit

airplane-cocktail-kit

This small tin contains an even-smaller bottle with a tiny amount of bitters, along with a spoon and two packets of sugar. It sells for an inordinate amount of money, considering that it doesn’t include the bourbon or rye that constitutes most of the drink. After all, a regular-sized bottle of bitters is about twelve bucks, and sugar, spoons, and napkins are usually free anywhere you’d be ordering a drink.

The only good takeaway from all this is that you can buy bitters online (this one is particularly good, FYI) since it’s not considered an alcoholic beverage, despite being full of alcohol. It’s the gentleman’s vanilla extract.



Chocolate-Covered Oreo Bacon

bacon-chocolate-oreos

Like a marine whose first order of business at chow is to stir all of his meal’s components into a homogeneous stew on his tray, the instinct to combine separately-edible components into a murky displeasure continues to defy our growing culinary culture. Oreos, chocolate, and bacon are all relatively cheap and delightful pleasures on their own, but together, they somehow cost five dollars per cookie. Not per package. Per cookie.

For sheer cultural grossness, though, you can’t beat “Chanukah Bundle,” an eighty-dollar assortment of bacon products seemingly aiming to corner the anti-semitic bacon market.  






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.