27 August, 2015
27 August, 2015
26 August, 2015
“Join the movement,” brags the manufacturer of this white-pride t-shirt.
And although it’s beside the point to rank or quantify hatred and racism, this racist “Keep Calm” shirt may be the worst of them all.
25 August, 2015
This square pillowcase, printed to look like a giant bag of weed, hides a pillow, and also has a small internal zippered pocket to hide your weed. That is, if putting weed inside a humongous ziplock bag labeled “Sour Diesel” counts as hiding it.
Better inside a pillow than inside a weed tampon designed to hide weed, I suppose.
24 August, 2015
Who likes to fake-fart? To make a long story short: children, and also the Weird Uncle character you have at work. Le Tooter is for the hard-core fartfucker, whose use of Fart Machine was unsatisfactory, and found Fart Machine #2 to be more realistic, yet still not tooty enough to be convincing. A spritz of Liquid Ass, the fecal smell-spray, completes the Weird Office Uncle package.
23 August, 2015
Of course, the best scammy skin-care product, if we’re going by name alone, is the $29.95 bottle of “You Can’t Zit Here.” It claims to be powered by the imaginary natural-healing mechanism of Reiki, which, as I’ve written about before, is entirely fake and literally based on waving your hands around.
22 August, 2015
The Shotgun Champ, a product you can purchase, is not how you shotgun a beer. You punch a hole in the side of the can with literally any metal object, then pop the top and drink the foul brew through the hole in the side. I don’t personally endorse the idea, but if it’s something you want to do for personal reasons, you should at least do it in a way that doesn’t involve purchasing a shitty piece of plastic.
But at least it’s not a BottleBong, whose functionality can be replicated with a bendy-straw.
21 August, 2015
The new iPad Telepresence Robot lets you mount an iPad to a pair of wheels so you can silently scoot around your office while you’re working from home, chatting up your coworkers, or perhaps silently spying on them as they fritter your corporate profits away on Twitter.
For the boss who’s cheap enough to skip the pretense of the “social” part of remotely spying on his coworkers, the Appbot Link accomplishes the same thing for a tenth of the price, and features a camera closer to the floor, for added stealth. You can even recline the camera angle for upskirt shots, not that a shitty boss would ever demean his female employees by trying to do such a thing!