How To Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant


This MP3 album is meant to be played to your cat, so your cat knows what a baby sounds like, because that is definitely how cats work. There’s an accompanying ebook, too (hit the “Look Inside” if you’ve got a second) because if you’ve got someone who believes cats can understand abstract ideas such as a baby or the future, you might as well get ‘em for two purchases instead of one.

Eating The Same Food As Your Cat


Surprisingly not by the author of “Crafting With Cat Hair,” this recipe book is stuffed with atrocious recipes that your cat can, technically, eat. Of course, if you’ve ever owned a cat, you know that giving your cat something weird usually ends with the cat batting it across the floor and leaving it to rot.

The author includes a long list of ingredients (read them all at the Look Inside) which you can’t add to your you-and-cat creations, including salt, meaning that you won’t like what you cook either.

Core Your Cupcakes


What’s a tool you’ll use in your kitchen again and again? Obviously, it’s “The Cupcake Corer.” It’s designed to cut the center out of a cupcake, which most of us have to do daily. Finally, the struggle is over. No more using the Treat Corer, a generic dessert-coring device not specifically designed for cupcakes.

Dick Myths: Jelqing


Jelqing is the technique of squeezing blood into your penis to temporarily, and, as the practitioners hope, permanently enlarge it over time. (It doesn’t, by the way, and can cause circulatory and nerve problems to your organ, making it numb or harder to achieve erections.) Still, millions of men across the planet have a pathological desire to enlarge their penis, meaning we end up with tools like The Penilizer.

For those who don’t want to drop the dough, there is a cheaper and commonly-used kitchen-tool alternative that seems to do the very same thing. Keep it in a drawer with your spatulas and no one but you and your permanently-damaged dick will be the wiser.

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