Sauna Mask


This “sauna face mask” makes your face sweat, which supposedly causes it to become more firm. I don’t believe it, but more importantly, I wanted to show you these pictures.



Day 3. They say we can remove the masks soon, but I’m not sure I believe them. I’m not sure what I believe at all, any more.



Day 17. We’re all going to die here. It’s just a matter of time. Mask works well, though. Four out of five stars.

Dance Before The Police Come


The music on “Dance Before The Police Come!” is about what you’d expect for a dance-music album from 1990, but the cover’s one of my favorites of all time: two oiled-up, shirtless men calling themselves “Shut Up And Dance” command you to dance. With swords. And a pair of nunchucks. And the police are definitely coming soon. It’s in the same league as, perhaps surpassing, “Big Bear: Doin Thangs.”

Miami Vice Fish Table



Live your 1980s-based dreams with the “Octagon Aqua Coffee Table,” which is actually a hexagon. But those two missing sides mean very little considering your dream’s coming true! Neon lights! Lamborghini Diablos! Ronald Reagan in charge of the country! This table truly is, as the manufacturer says, “Art In Motion.”

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