Rope Flavor Pills

yummy-cum

The worst part of Yummy Cum is not the name, surprisingly, but the fact that the manufacturer warns, “Check with your doctor first.” Okay, let me go take this sex bottle to my doctor and ask him if it’s okay to take an unregulated combination of plant extracts to blast flavor out of my balls. I’m sure that will be worth spending two hours in his office, plus the co-pay for the office visit.



Selfie Brush

the-selfie-brush

The slogan of The Selfie Brush is “Look good on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.” It’s a plastic brush that holds an iPhone in the back, next to the mirror. Which you don’t need, because you can see yourself on the iPhone screen, which is larger than the mirror. There’s no hole for the rear-facing camera, either. But check out this picture of users making selfie faces into it! They love it!



Eight Gigabytes Of Gun

gun-flash-drive

If you’re the kind of guy who won’t buy something unless it’s gun-shaped or attaches to a gun, this flash drive is for you. Just make sure you keep it at home if you live in America and your skin’s any darker than a mozzarella stick. Cops know they’ve got paid retirement and $100k in a GoFundMe waiting for them if they plug you.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.