This album is 17 years old, but you’ve got to hand it to Trick Daddy for titling his sophomore album “www.thug.com,” and titling the first track “Log In.”  (Please go and listen to “Log In,” if you have six seconds to spare. That’s how long it is.)

I don’t know if this is real or not, but for the sake of our species, let’s hope it’s not. (From Aggro-Gator.)

In case the Nicolas Cage Pillowcases weren’t enough to send you to nightmare-land, this all-over t-shirt print of the same man’s wide-eyed glare should do it.

Well, shit, I guess I want to touch Clean Remote, and also I’m starting to think that I want to keep my jacking-off MRSA piss-and-shit pigs from touching my regular remote.

Unfortunately, you can’t stream this DVD online, but do yourself a favor and check out the screencaps of the grey-haired protagonist caning the shit out of the bald guy.

It’s also important to note that “frequently bought with” this DVD is this item.

For just $250, you can hire a goat to come and graze on your lawn. 

Yes, seriously.

I’d sooner get crammed into a pine box and be buried beneath the earth’s surface than attempt to live my life inside of a “tiny house.” But I try not to make a big deal about it, lest it become a movement, with Subterranean Casket-House enthusiasts bragging to each other about their pillow-lined deathtubs.

(That last link is a beautiful cherry-stained casket with eggshell interior, BTW, if you want to be one of the first to live the Subterranean Casket-House lifestyle.)